When we were all outliers...
Dear
Dreamers,
Over the
last year, I read a few books that kept bringing me back to each other, they weren’t
similar in concept, and yet they made me realize one thing over and over
again.. this- Circumstance, opportunity and our history are the reason we become
the people we are.
The three
books were- Outliers (by Malcolm Gladwell), Einstein’s wife ( by Andrea Gabor)
and Half the Sky ( by Nicholas Kristof
and Sheryl WuDunn). While Outliers is an
explanation of how success of the outliers of the world depends as much on
their surrounding culture as much on their true genius, Half the Sky is a plea
to take action against the most heinous crimes against women around the world
and to protect these women against the most macabre human rights violation of
our age. Einstein’s Wife ( a loan from my aunt) chronicles the work and lives
of five great 20th century women in the fields of science, art,
architecture and the judiciary.
Outliers is
the story of the unexpected logic of successful people, about how being born in
the right generation , to the right family and at the right time of the year is
as important as intelligence and ambition. And its also not that easy to find.
When you read the book, so have so many light bulb moments, and you realize the
reason you did or didn’t become the next Bill Gates. ( I found out I had no excuse, so Im going to
shut up now.) In this day and age, of government reservations for the under privileged
and affirmative actions, I had foolishly begun to believe that of you go to the
same school and take the same classes, everybody has had equal opportunity-
till Gladwell points otherwise.
Half the
sky on the other hand is a gut wrenching book dealing with the violence women
face all over the world. In Asia – its prostitution and human trafficking,
while in the middle east it take the face of religious killings and war fall
out. Going through this book I realize that being a girl raised in Mumbai to fairly liberal parents, I took so many
things for granted, the realization that most of our life’s trajectory are the subtle choices we make- what to study,
where to study, where to work, who you marry , ( hell we feel arranged
marriages are intrusive!!) and then you
feel a jolt that these choices are not available to so many women- even
thinking about these things and trying to make their own decisions are grounds
for killings…is this the value of a human life?
Einstein’s
wife on the other hand talks about five women in different days and ages (who all married men in the same field as them)
and went on to lead lives that paved the paths for the women of our generations
to manage careers and families. I don’t know if the author planned this but
each lady is different in their own charachteristic way, and the way they dealt
with their married and professional lives are all different, significantly
different.
Point of
the matter is- each of these books is completely different, and yet there is a
common thread- a weave of destiny ( I typically don’t like to use destiny as my
go to for all issues) but its something I realize is more significant than I
know.
I realize
this that I am who I am because I had the liberty to become this person,
I am a girl
( I keep saying this again and again- and while for most of you this doesn’t make
a difference- to women in half the countries of this world- the fact that they
were born with two XX chromosomes made all the difference) born to parents who are both post graduates-
who understand the main aim of your child’s life need not be to marry and bear kids. I am allowed to pursue a
career, find the job
I love . I came to the States with my parents support, financially and emotionally , I could afford enjoy this country and the perks that it gives- of education, of independence. I think that gave me a certain sense of relaxation, of no pressure. That allows me to be the person I am ..a happy go lucky optimistic person, who can focus on work and hope for all the wonderful things to happen to me. I am a happy go lucky person, because in some way I am allowed to be. And that shapes so many decisions I make. If I were born half way across the world, my life would have been different.
I love . I came to the States with my parents support, financially and emotionally , I could afford enjoy this country and the perks that it gives- of education, of independence. I think that gave me a certain sense of relaxation, of no pressure. That allows me to be the person I am ..a happy go lucky optimistic person, who can focus on work and hope for all the wonderful things to happen to me. I am a happy go lucky person, because in some way I am allowed to be. And that shapes so many decisions I make. If I were born half way across the world, my life would have been different.
We are all
different, so completely different, two siblings born to the same family and
raised in the same way, but the dynamics, our age, friends make a difference to
the people we eventually become. And if we are different people , then what are
the chances that what happens to us for the rest of our lives is the same, and then
why do we say Why me? When everything else is so different?
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