When we were all outliers...


Dear Dreamers,
Over the last year, I read a few books that kept bringing me back to each other, they weren’t similar in concept, and yet they made me realize one thing over and over again.. this- Circumstance, opportunity and our history are the reason we become the people we are.
The three books were- Outliers (by Malcolm Gladwell), Einstein’s wife ( by Andrea Gabor) and Half the Sky  ( by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn).  While Outliers is an explanation of how success of the outliers of the world depends as much on their surrounding culture as much on their true genius, Half the Sky is a plea to take action against the most heinous crimes against women around the world and to protect these women against the most macabre human rights violation of our age. Einstein’s Wife ( a loan from my aunt) chronicles the work and lives of five great 20th century women in the fields of science, art, architecture and the judiciary.


Outliers is the story of the unexpected logic of successful people, about how being born in the right generation , to the right family and at the right time of the year is as important as intelligence and ambition. And its also not that easy to find. When you read the book, so have so many light bulb moments, and you realize the reason you did or didn’t become the next Bill Gates.  ( I found out I had no excuse, so Im going to shut up now.) In this day and age, of government reservations for the under privileged and affirmative actions, I had foolishly begun to believe that of you go to the same school and take the same classes, everybody has had equal opportunity- till Gladwell points otherwise.



Half the sky on the other hand is a gut wrenching book dealing with the violence women face all over the world. In Asia – its prostitution and human trafficking, while in the middle east it take the face of religious killings and war fall out. Going through this book I realize that being a girl raised in Mumbai  to fairly liberal parents, I took so many things for granted, the realization that most of our life’s trajectory  are the subtle choices we make- what to study, where to study, where to work, who you marry , ( hell we feel arranged marriages are intrusive!!)  and then you feel a jolt that these choices are not available to so many women- even thinking about these things and trying to make their own decisions are grounds for killings…is this the value of a human life?

Einstein’s wife on the other hand talks about five women in different days and ages  (who all married men in the same field as them) and went on to lead lives that paved the paths for the women of our generations to manage careers and families. I don’t know if the author planned this but each lady is different in their own charachteristic way, and the way they dealt with their married and professional lives are all different, significantly different.
Point of the matter is- each of these books is completely different, and yet there is a common thread- a weave of destiny ( I typically don’t like to use destiny as my go to for all issues) but its something I realize is more significant than I know.
I realize this that I am who I am because I had the liberty to become this person,
I am a girl ( I keep saying this again and again- and while for most of you this doesn’t make a difference- to women in half the countries of this world- the fact that they were born with two XX chromosomes made all the difference)  born to parents who are both post graduates- who understand the main aim of your child’s  life need not be to  marry and bear kids. I am allowed to pursue a career, find the job
I love . I came to the States with my parents support, financially and emotionally , I could afford enjoy this country and the perks that it gives- of education, of independence. I think that gave me a certain sense of relaxation, of no pressure. That allows me to be the person I am ..a happy go lucky optimistic person, who can focus on work and hope for all the wonderful things to happen to me. I am a happy go lucky person, because in some way I am allowed to be. And that shapes so many decisions I make. If I were born half way across the world, my life would have been different.
We are all different, so completely different, two siblings born to the same family and raised in the same way, but the dynamics, our age, friends make a difference to the people we eventually become. And if we are different people , then what are the chances that what happens to us for the rest of our lives is the same, and then why do we say Why me? When everything else is so different?

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