Would you like to flip to the last page of the book of your life?

Dear Dreamers,
I recently discovered the Somerville Public library- a couple of months ago now and since I discovered that you can get as many  books as you like, there has been an onslaught of books. I feel like the child stuck with his hand in the cookie jar, there is always one more cookie to grab...

To that end, I havent been able to write any more posts of the books I have written recently.Today I talk about the book The Palace of Illusions by Chitra divakaruni that made a great impact on me.


I am one of those people who grew up watching Mahabharata on Sunday mornings.  It is a Sanskrit epic with all its intrinsic story telling and loopholes. It is a book with chariots and wars and vows and curses and love stories. It is truely epic.

However one thing I realized is that through, all the adaptations of the actual book ( I haven't read the original) - through the stories from my dad, from the tv series we watched on Sundays and all the compiled adaptations of the original , that they were all from a single perspective. That of the Pandavas- the 5 sons of Pandu who would rather marry the same woman and share her for the rest of their lives rather than  hurt their mother,  who would go together to live for 13 years in the woods, and who would eventually avege all the wrongdoings befallen on them. They were the heroes, the dark horses. You knew right away you had to root for them.
This book in being different is from the perspective of Draupadi/ Panchali. The daughter of a wealthy king, born from the fire with a destiny to change a world.
From a countlessly told epic, this was a never before told story.
When Draupadi is born, she is told that she has the destiny to change the world. And she spends the childhood restless trying to understand the meaning of changing the world- how?when? why ? What could she do? when would it happen? Always feeling claustrophobic in the traditional roles of a princess and a  woman knowing  that this was not what she was meant to do with her life.
Which makes me want to think- for all of us who are us who preen over our daily horoscope, go to pundits for their knowledge to see the future, What do you do when you actually know your destiny from the time  you are born with it?  would you have the freedom of not knowing what your future entails? or does it just weigh you down?  or on a more positive side of things you never again feel a moment of self doubt again, on your way to greatness.
I know the epic, I know the Kauravas lose and the Pandavas win the war. But while I read the book, it leaves me oddly unsettled. I had grown up believing so many things- that the Pandavas were denied their kingdom, Yudhistir was the greatest of all men- who did not a single thing wrong in his life, Arjun was the greatest warrior.
Divakaruni does an great job bringing things into  perspective , another perspective- that of Draupadi- who is, considering that she is one of the crucial characters involved in situations that lead to the eventual all- destroying war, under represented in the Mahabharata. Divakaruni does take a few liberties at some point , trying to look at the whole scenario from the eyes of a modern day woman. And while it may help connect to the audience better, it does walk away from the Mahabharata at some point.

But I'm not complaining,  the romantic in me takes away the first message- the untold feelings of Karna and Draupadi, the simmering of emotions and the constant moral battle between the right and wrong and eventually the stand that you take for the greater good-  a matter of principles over the desire of two individuals. I realized things had to happen this way because it was the way it destined to be- but how could so many things be left incomplete, unsaid? I am left bereft at how Karna ( probably the dark horse-isque hero of this book)  was cheated out / suffering for so many things in his life- essentially every aspect of his life is darkened- its life that had to deal with a great deal of injustice, and only a great being can do it justice.

For some reason, Yudhishtir in my head was always cast as a hero ( in the folklores) - the absolutely greatest leader and king, so was Arjun as the best warrior,  yet it was Bheem who was a better husband to her than either of the two ( I always thought  Arjun would be the one since he won her over in the swayamvar) . Also stuck between doing the righteous or not doing anything at all, Yudhishtir comes across as wimpy? he is the human being we are taught to emulate- yet at the time of actually protecting his wife, he is nowhere to be found.  Time and again, he comes across as the guy would rather keep his mouth shut than stand up against whats wrong.
Right at the beginning when I was writing this post, I thought- knowing what you are destined for, knowing what your true destiny is- how does it affect the way we lead our lives?
But I realize one thing- knowing what your destiny is- doesnt change anything- it merely is the end of the journey that you are set forth on- the decisions that you make are already known - and if you have noticed its always ambiguous, always abstract.
What do you think- would you like to flip to the last page of the book of your life?
S